Outline Of Improvements Needed Before Deadline/Feedback From Target Audience

Outline Of Improvements Needed Before Deadline/Feedback From Target Audience

A few weeks ago, we were told to make our first rough cut in order for our teacher to gain a rough idea of what our music video will be like. 
When we created our first rough cut, we were given feedback on what needed to be changed, developed and what we did well.

We thought it would be a good idea to make another rough cut, after all the adjustments from the feedback we got last time, were made. We thought this time we would show our target audience as well as our teacher as it is crucial for our video to attract the accurate target audience, as well as the secondary audience.
In order to show our whole class, we had to project the video through the big screen which emphasises any flaws to our video. E.g. if what is on screen is out of sync with the music, it will be made very obvious through the big screen. We also thought it would be a good idea to view the music video through the big screen as all A2 media students will view each others' finished products in the cinema so we want our video to be perfect!
The imperfections of our music video were definitely emphasised.
Here is the feedback our fellow class mates gave us:

•  Within the first few shots, there is a shot of Durim in the dark and gloomy alley way. This shot looks out of place as it contradicts the sunny, nature-based shots which dominate the beginning sequence of the music video.
• At the beginning of the song, there are two hard hits of a drum, just before the beat drops. It would be better if you cut between shots in sync with the two beats of the music.
• The filter doesn't look nice- it takes away from the beautiful sunny day. (Ironically, each day that we filmed, the weather turned out to be beautiful, when we wanted gloomy weather for our music video).
• There is a shot during the chorus where Durim really goes for it and performs the chorus. However, there is a cut before he finishes the line. Never cut between shots while the artist is singing a line. It is unconventional.
• There is STILL not enough use of close-ups which is also very unconventional of music videos. Elongate the close-up shots you do use and add some more as these are in connection to Carol Vernallis' theory.

• (Strengths) The narrative is very clearly portrayed in a way that is not too extravagant and remains simple which is very conventional of the Indie genre.
• Some cuts between shots are in sync with the beat of the music which is very good as it shows you have been following some music video conventions.